Mediation Can Improve and Save Your Marriage
Most people think, if you want to improve your marriage, or resolve issues threatening your marriage, you go to a good therapist for counseling, but if you are done with the relationship and want a divorce you go to divorce mediation. Mediation is not just for divorce! In fact, combining the power of high quality therapy with the impact of effective marital mediation increases your ability to have a truly successful marriage for the long term.
Why Consider Seeking the Right therapy AND a Good Mediator?
Much conflict within a marriage or other committed relationship can stem from financial, parenting, or other issues that are part of the boundaries and contributions to the relationship.
As a mediator, especially one that is also experienced in family law and a licensed professional counselor, I am able to add to the therapy work done with verbal and written agreements that define and reset the boundaries with a clear written agreement setting out the contributions, boundaries and the consequences for violating the boundaries. These agreements with specific plans can be used to help couples craft solutions that can be applied to strengthen all areas within the relationship.
Tina Baker JD, MC, LPC
Mediation and Therapy Compliment Each Other
Mediation can add further to therapy by helping couples improve their communication skills in areas of conflict and reinforce the communication with a specific plan and agreement for the couple to follow. A good mediator will tell you those who seek divorce through mediation often find they are better off actually staying together, and they do.
The purpose of mediation is to break down barriers of communication and sort things out in a way that works for everybody. So for those who are open minded, the process used by a highly qualified mediator becomes instructive and helps the couple learn better communication skills, which is a big part of a healthy marriage.
As an experienced mediator and professional counselor, I will never just funnel a couple towards divorce. Resetting the marriage boundaries and clarifying the understanding of the contributions made by both partners is a powerful tool that helps couples build better marriages. In most cases, the perceived problems in a marriage are like dark clouds of misunderstanding blocking the sunshine of goodwill and love.
Mediation can be used in collaboration with therapy to reset the boundaries with clear agreements setting the specific actions, consequences and contributions of each partner. This often helps clear away the clouds and provide the rays of sunshine to show a clear and bright future for the marriage.
Mediation – Not a Replacement for Therapy
Remember, Marital Mediation is not a replacement for individual or couples therapy, but a different process relying on dispute-resolution techniques. The process is flexible, and often works in collaboration with quality therapy. It can also include the use of other important professionals such as life coaches, parenting, or financial professionals if desired.
People are finding that replacing one bad marriage with another is what happens when you blame your partner for everything that is wrong in your marriage. Or you can work to develop the skills needed to have an amazing marriage, learn how to love unconditionally, and be the friend, partner and loving person you know you can be. Quality therapy and an effective mediation process can assist you to effectively accomplish the necessary work to break the old patterns and build the new skills to live a better life and have the marriage you both deserve!
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